Motherhood starts, to most of us, with tears of joy and physical pain.  It's a moment of self sacrifice for the life of something you now cherish more than yourself.  The badge of motherhood is not a easy badge to earn, right from the start.  Today of all days, is a cherished day for mothers.  … Continue reading A Badge of Sacrifice →

I was asked last night, as I showed my tattoo, what it represented.  At first I thought, well isn't it obvious? Then I realized it might not be entirely clear to some.  Why the Raven?  It is because I finally truly believe that God is the great comforter. Psalms 23:4 Even though I walk through the … Continue reading Reasons for Ravens →

I thought I was doing well, navigating this field of landmines without a map.  Always priding myself on being the prepared GirlScout, I knew I had the obvious areas I needed to help my family through right away.  There's all the major holidays, the birthdays, and other family traditions, some that came up right away.  … Continue reading The Firsts, the Lasts and the Nevers…. →

Coming back from New Orleans after my nursing conference I found myself on a five-hour flight, ready to kick back with my ear phones on, and enjoy the two documentaries I hastily downloaded at 3am. visiting New Orleans just two months after the loss of my daughter wasn't something I really wanted to do, but … Continue reading Grace at 30K feet →

Sometimes a visual picture explains more the way you feel or understand something in a way only a picture can.  I have been walking past a site of destruction almost daily.  It isn't just a demolition site, it's an iconic building that represents part of the hospital and community.  The rubble sits angrily contrasted against … Continue reading Destruction and the use of Broken things →

I've known these women of true beauty for many years.  I never thought to put them in a category together.   They come from different backgrounds, different political camps, possibly different religions.   They are different ages and have all experienced different kinds of loss.  At first when I was making this revelation, I thought it was … Continue reading Beauty Blooms in Unordinary Places →

The morning of the day My daughter passed away, I was in Peru and saw the largest Black bird I had ever seen before and stopped to take a picture of it.  I have no idea why it was there or if that almost two foot tall bird normally lives happily by the park near … Continue reading Reasons for Raven and Roses, signs of hope →

 An object in motion stays in motion, remember that from science class? An object in motion headed in one direction stays headed in that direction, until sideswiped by a bulldozer. I have read that trauma can cause developmental stages to stop when trauma happens in life.  It can cause someone to feel stuck.  Unfortunately, most of … Continue reading Knocked around like a Pool Ball →

I suffer from dry eyes, I  see the eye doctor tomorrow.   I wonder what the effect of constant crying will have on my eye tests.  I've cried for 47 days straight, I didn't know that was possible for someone with dry eyes but it turns out having dry eyes doesn't mean you can't cry.  It … Continue reading Go ahead, cry in the shower →

Hours after my daughter's death I needed to cut my hair.  It was some sort of unexplainable urge.  I was actually wandering through the airport on the way home from South America looking for scissors.   I think this shows you where my head was at.  Of course you couldn't find scissors at the duty-free store … Continue reading Share your story Part II →