You are here was what the map said as I stood inside the hospital atrium. I kept looking at the map trying to compute where I was and how far away food could be. It had somehow been many hours without food, I remember realizing as I stood there. Why isn't there anything decent to eat … Continue reading You Are Here
There was a facebook video going around recently where the Dad wakes up and unwraps his wife and kids, then his car and shower and so on. At first, I thought it was stupid. Also, I will never get to "unwrap" one of my kids.... I left that thought on the back burner in … Continue reading Rethinking Thankful
In the late hours of 2015 Mikenna got mono. It came as a surprise to us because in 8th grade her best friend and her shared everything and they both tested positive for mono. This was the first time I learned that although the virus lays dormant, some people have it reactivated. Those people are … Continue reading The Leprosy of Loss
In nursing, we learn to look for signs and symptoms that lead to nursing diagnosis. If you follow the clues, they usually lead to the problem or the source. What if you were broken and lived in a world where you asked your source for signs? It's like an equation in my mind. … Continue reading Signs and Butterfly Kisses
I walked into work in my normal groggy, grumpy mood. It was 0615 and my coffee hadn't kicked in enough to care about whatever shenanigans were going on with the assignments for the day. The operating room assignments for the nursing staff can be an unfun task for the head nurse and I was thankful … Continue reading Kintsugi, The Art of Being Broken
I was driving home from visiting my oldest daughter for her birthday. It's a long tedious drive I had done dozens of times. After losing her sister, only 20 months younger than her, and her best friend, I count every birthday as a blessing. She finally looked like my beautiful girl again, except now she … Continue reading Into the Storm
When I find myself down for days, I know I need a project or something to distract me. A goal, a craft, something to pour my energy into. This can go on for days or weeks, sometimes working through meals and long past the hours when I should be sleeping. The tricky part is this … Continue reading The Balancing Act of Loss
My daughter loved puzzles, in her honor, as soon as I find a place the cats won't push the pieces off, I plan to put one out to work on. She could sit for hours looking at the various colors and shapes, forming the corners, then the edges and filling in all the spaces in … Continue reading Solving the Unsolvable
If you've ever seen the movie Yes Man, with Jim Carrey, then you might relate to this bizarre phase of grief and healing I have been going through. In the movie, the main character has suffered the loss of his marriage and has a negative outlook on himself and life in general. He attends … Continue reading Defining Moments
The day before we left on our mission trip as a family, I wondered what on earth possessed me to consider taking four of us on a mission trip at the same time. We were working, playing sports, and wrapping up the school year, along with getting ready for our exchange student, starting our nonprofit … Continue reading Deer Hope
Raven and Roses 