It's been ten months without my daughter. Ten months, ten days, ten hours, it doesn't matter it still feels the same. I am a shell of the person I used to be. I am a burn victim, skin grafted and moving through every minute always feeling pain. I navigate my days like walking through broken … Continue reading Confession of a Grieving Mother
Author: ravenandroses4
I’m a wife, nurse and mother of four girls. I am walking through the valley of the recent death of my 19 year old due to mental illness. I am using my passion for writing and photography along with prayer for healing for myself and others. I am in the process of learning about different outreach programs and research to help people suffering from depression or walking through similar life experiences. I also want to share parenting and life experiences to interested readers.
Grasping Gratitude
Being thankful takes on a whole new meaning when you have had your entire world ripped apart with a significant loss. As a natural problem solver, I set out to figure out how to have Thanksgiving and have it not horrible for my family. That was my only expectation, not, absolutely, horrible. When my daughter … Continue reading Grasping Gratitude
Celebrating Veteran’s Day ill, and why I wouldn’t change a thing.
As I stood in the shower for the second time today, under extremely hot water trying to shake the chills that I seemed to develop from Montezuma revenge, It hit me that this happens to me every time I go to any Latin culture, but it's not going to stop me from going. My first … Continue reading Celebrating Veteran’s Day ill, and why I wouldn’t change a thing.
Fallout
"Hold on tight a little longer, What doesn't kill ya makes ya stronger. Get back up, Cause it's a hard love. You can't change without a fallout. It's gonna hurt, but don't you slow down. Get back up, cause it's a hard love." Hard Love by NeedtoBreathe This song has been playing in my head … Continue reading Fallout
A Side of Grief, Hold the Guilt
Packing list, headphones, laptop, toiletries, four dress casual outfits, grief. That was my basic packing list as I headed for a nursing conference I had been scheduled to go to for over a year. I couldn't imagine leaving, I was having a difficult week mentally and felt exhausted just thinking about it. My … Continue reading A Side of Grief, Hold the Guilt
He never let’s go
I am dry brittle grass in a desolate rain forsaken land waiting for a careless word to ignite my combustible fuel. All the makings of an inferno at any moment just waiting to burn and consume. It is not an intentional transformation. It started when my world was shaken and the true realization that there … Continue reading He never let’s go
Shhh don’t say PTSD
Watching Mama Mia seems like a safe place to hang out with your girlfriend while trying to reemerge back into society. Of course, during the movie, there's an intense mother-daughter scene that had me blubbering uncontrollably. I was a bit mortified at first, I didn't have a tissue, my friend felt horrible, but I recovered … Continue reading Shhh don’t say PTSD
A big pile of Nope
Over and over, in my head, over the last few months, I would hear that song from the Chili's commercial. "I want my baby back, baby back, baby back." I want my baby back, baby back, baby back..." It would come to me when I just didn't want to deal with grief anymore. I'd … Continue reading A big pile of Nope
The after SHOCK and AWE fulness
Shock and Awe refer military tactics to overwhelm an adversary and to paralyze it, to "seize control of the environment and overload perception and understanding of events so the enemy is incapable of resistance," Wikipedia. This is a definition of straight up grief. It is a paralyzing, overwhelming, stimulation and perceptual overload. The shock is … Continue reading The after SHOCK and AWE fulness
Are you In or Out?
XOXO Xoxo Xoxo xoxo xoxo xoxo xoxo xoxo xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox This post is about the choices you make without knowing you are making them. Stop reading if you find the subject of loss and pain as a downer. It’s ok I won’t judge you. The rest of you, please continue reading ...... Minutes after the … Continue reading Are you In or Out?
Raven and Roses 