Oregon Coast Everyone says, grief is a process, and there are many stages of grief and you have to move through them. Unfortunately for the goal oriented person, you can't just move through each step like, "check, got through anger. That one was a doozie" I kept thinking if I made it to a year, … Continue reading Struggles and Signs of Hope
Cliffs of Moher My oldest daughter graduated from college only six months after her best friend and Irish twin's passing. An Irish twin is a set of children born close together, to the point they look like twins when they are in strollers together. I was blessed enough to have two sets. Kaylee, my oldest, … Continue reading A Mother’s Grit
I was talking with my grief therapist the other day and I was talking about how I didn't want to be someone that was stuck. Even though I don't want to forget any one thing about my daughter, I can't be so stuck in my grief I can't move. I was using the analogy of … Continue reading I’m Allergic to My Life Raft
Fragmenting, disassociation, daydreaming, these are all words to describe the loss of time associated with trauma. I knew I would daydream and lose minutes, sometimes I would find myself lost in thought for hours. My cell phone has this feature where it tells you how long you have been averaging using it daily. At first, … Continue reading The Origami of Time
Church of the Holy Cross, Sedona One of the things I have been blessed with is the gift of not caring too much about how people perceive me. It started relatively young. I remember in fourth grade, I was determined to play the drums. My parents said it wasn't really an instrument for girls, that … Continue reading Take A Spiritual Journey
Have you ever wondered about January 1st? I woke up today and had to google it. It seems many years ago we followed the lunar calendar, to mark agricultural changes, but following the moon's cycles had to be readjusted every once in a while and the lengths of the years would add or subtract days … Continue reading A New Year, looking back
I love looking at the clouds, Here’s Mickey ears Coping mechanisms are a funny thing. I have always thought of myself as a tough cookie, I think the jury is still out on that, but I know that we all develop healthy, not so healthy, and basic survival coping mechanisms. Through the years I have … Continue reading Christmas in the Clouds
A while ago my friend, who also suffered a similar loss, and who also happens to be my massage therapist, was asking me if I listen to podcasts. I hadn't really engaged in moving into that part of technology. I was still trying to figure out twitter and managing my Pinterest account. She told me … Continue reading Beautiful Dreamer
It's been ten months without my daughter. Ten months, ten days, ten hours, it doesn't matter it still feels the same. I am a shell of the person I used to be. I am a burn victim, skin grafted and moving through every minute always feeling pain. I navigate my days like walking through broken … Continue reading Confession of a Grieving Mother
Being thankful takes on a whole new meaning when you have had your entire world ripped apart with a significant loss. As a natural problem solver, I set out to figure out how to have Thanksgiving and have it not horrible for my family. That was my only expectation, not, absolutely, horrible. When my daughter … Continue reading Grasping Gratitude
Raven and Roses 