Grief is a murderous beast, yet silent as it stalks the living. I knew that the moment I found myself in it. That I had to survive it and somehow help my girls survive it also. It's not really talked about in the mental health community and you cannot find a specific grief specialist to … Continue reading To See or not To See
If you've ever spent time in the ocean, trying to tread water in strong waves, you understand the analogy of how it feels to move through life with the reminder of grief and the cruelty of depression. To be clear, grief and depression are not the same thing. Grief is the constant reminder of a … Continue reading Breaker Lane
Survival of the Pitiest
As a child and through young adulthood I've never knew what to say when I was lavished with gifts out of the norm, I would feel awkward, somehow underserving and it made me uncomfortable. That is how I felt with sympathy somehow. It makes me feel like I need to say something in return, it … Continue reading Survival of the Pitiest
The other day I was driving home, thinking about how we are given more signs it seems right after our loved one pass, but as the time goes on, you seem to be given less and less. It make sense, when you first lose a child or a spouse or a parent you cannot even … Continue reading Angelic Hands
Will There Be Joy?
Will there be joy again? It was a question I asked myself as I watched my oldest daughter graduate from college six months after the death of her sister. I took stock of my emotions, I was "happy" for her, I was proud of her, but it came with ache I would never see my … Continue reading Will There Be Joy?
To Thine Own Self Be True
To Thine Own Self Be True....Shakespeare uses this line in Hamlet, and this phrase has multiple meanings. The first meaning is that someone can better judge himself if he has done what he should or could have done. The second meaning is that one must be honest in his ways and relations. The third meaning … Continue reading To Thine Own Self Be True
Do What You Can Do
Chaos was what I was born into, I was born from two creative 60's parents, both amazing artists and musicians. They were barely out of their teens when Vietnam hit. Their parents were WWII pilots and heros that had lived through the depression before there was maternity leave, birth control, or anything related to mental … Continue reading Do What You Can Do
Permanence, until now I never realized the full gravity of something being permanent. We use a permanent marker to write our names on our children's clothing aa they head off to summer camp. Of course you can also scratch out the name, tear out a tag. You can cover it up with another name, make … Continue reading Permanent
Grief is like….
Grief is like your life was like a beautiful pool until one day a storm came along placing a giant crack through it and releasing a large amount of the water. Now, you are still grateful for the pool you still have left but it will never be the same. You still can sit in … Continue reading Grief is like….
I had seen the waterfall a half dozen times, but walking towards it on the narrow path that circled behind the waterfall always gave me a sense of anticipation. As I grew closer to it I would begin to feel the slide of the mud under my feet, the mist of the spray hitting my … Continue reading Destination Unknown