Leaving work I contemplated muscle memory and how the body and subconscious remember dates long before our conscious mind does. I think of the hippocampus and wonder how my body feeling sore and achy remembered the last day I saw my daughter before I realized the date. I've been trying to get my near 50-year-old … Continue reading Tears from Heaven
I recently went to Bend, Oregon with a friend to a concert. It's about 4 hours away depending how fast you drive. My walking partner, also my concert partner, couldn't allow us to leave Bend without going on a short hike. At breakfast we asked some locals for advice on a small hike in the … Continue reading Regrowth
Have you ever realized you have lived all your life and just realized the proper use of a tool long after everyone else? I have those moments a lot in life. When I realized you can pop a top off a bottle with just about anything, I was say...30. Joining TikTok has made me realize … Continue reading Ice, Ice, Baby
Grief is a murderous beast, yet silent as it stalks the living. I knew that the moment I found myself in it. That I had to survive it and somehow help my girls survive it also. It's not really talked about in the mental health community and you cannot find a specific grief specialist to … Continue reading To See or not To See
If you've ever spent time in the ocean, trying to tread water in strong waves, you understand the analogy of how it feels to move through life with the reminder of grief and the cruelty of depression. To be clear, grief and depression are not the same thing. Grief is the constant reminder of a … Continue reading Breaker Lane
As a child and through young adulthood I've never knew what to say when I was lavished with gifts out of the norm, I would feel awkward, somehow underserving and it made me uncomfortable. That is how I felt with sympathy somehow. It makes me feel like I need to say something in return, it … Continue reading Survival of the Pitiest
The other day I was driving home, thinking about how we are given more signs it seems right after our loved one pass, but as the time goes on, you seem to be given less and less. It make sense, when you first lose a child or a spouse or a parent you cannot even … Continue reading Angelic Hands
Will there be joy again? It was a question I asked myself as I watched my oldest daughter graduate from college six months after the death of her sister. I took stock of my emotions, I was "happy" for her, I was proud of her, but it came with ache I would never see my … Continue reading Will There Be Joy?
To Thine Own Self Be True....Shakespeare uses this line in Hamlet, and this phrase has multiple meanings. The first meaning is that someone can better judge himself if he has done what he should or could have done. The second meaning is that one must be honest in his ways and relations. The third meaning … Continue reading To Thine Own Self Be True
Chaos was what I was born into, I was born from two creative 60's parents, both amazing artists and musicians. They were barely out of their teens when Vietnam hit. Their parents were WWII pilots and heros that had lived through the depression before there was maternity leave, birth control, or anything related to mental … Continue reading Do What You Can Do
Raven and Roses 